It’s funny how looking at a picture can take you back to exactly how you were feeling at that moment in time…
This picture was taken two years ago today at one of my favourite spots – Knockmany Cairn in my hometown, Augher. The view from the top is incredible and when the sun is shining, you can see for miles across the Clogher Valley and beyond. I’ve had many happy treks up Knockmany in rain, hail, snow and sunshine. But this day was different.
June 29th 2016. I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was going through a really shitty time and I was struggling. I knew things weren’t right and I had no idea how to fix them. I was trying to maintain a happy persona to my friends and family but inside, my heart was hurting and, on this day, I broke.
Walking up the hills of Knockmany, I sobbed my heart out all the way to the top. I prayed as I sat overlooking the amazing view, that everything would go back to how it had been just months before. I had been so happy and content – loving life and loving the people I got to share it with. Why could it not have stayed that way?!
Life had a different plan for me, that’s why!
Things didn’t work out the way I had hoped for and at that time, I didn’t know how I was ever going to feel myself again. Looking back at different pictures from that time, I can still remember how sad I felt.
But… (and there’s always a but!)
Whilst those feelings of sadness and heartbrokenness were something I had never experienced before and hopefully, I’ll never have to experience again, once I made the decision that I was going to move on and live my life the way I wanted and putting myself first, things got SO much better and I can say that I’m #LivingMyBestLife 😉
In saying that though, I still feel a sense of sadness when I look at that picture because of how I was feeling and who knows, maybe I always will, but that’s OK because it was one of those ‘experiences’ people talk about that’s part of life.
I know it’s clichéd, but that experience has made me stronger in a way that I think, I don’t need someone else to make me happy. I am the only person who can control my own happiness (Law of attraction geek right here) and boy am I excited about what’s to come! 🙂
I hope anyone going through a similar situation knows that things DO get better and after all, “the best view comes after the hardest climb.”